A MAN has embarked on a three-day drinking bender to reward himself for a relatively small life achievement, it has emerged.
Tom Booker began the marathon drinking session last night after finding out that he had a job interview for a junior position at some bullshit PR company.
He said: “I mean, it’s a big deal getting a job interview.
“Sending in my CV took real effort, and the cover letter introducing myself was a bitch to write, so why shouldn’t I reward myself by drinking a litre of vodka, 20 pints of lager and several bottles of Jacob’s Creek over a 72 hour period?
“After all, I can’t be going on three-day sauce benders when I’m working a nine to five at this amazing company. Well, except those times when I just feel like calling in sick and going on a three-day bender.”
Booker plans to continue drinking until Saturday evening, leaving himself some time to partially recover before his two-stage interview on Monday at 9am.
He added: “I must remember to iron a shirt if I’m not too fucked.”