TRAGICALLY deluded men will be able to nurture their crush in a new Friend Zone cafe.
The Friend Zone, in north London, will have a jukebox filled with songs by sensitive white boys playing acoustic guitar and comfy sofas where customers can rock back and forth, mouthing the word ‘why?’.
Owner Nikki Hollis said: “Our overheads will be pretty high – so many tissues. But we’ll recoup it with exorbitant wifi fees so they can search Facebook profiles for bikini photos.”
The cafe will be open 24 hours a day to cater for various types of clientele, from the office-based friend-zoner who assumes polite lunchtime chitchat means something, to the 3am customer who wants to moon over a brief drunken kiss from three years ago.
Hollis added: “There’s scope for a branch on every university campus in the UK. I’m sure there will be plenty of willing franchise holders, particularly among women who wear a fake engagement ring just to get a bit of peace.”