A MAN has discovered an open-minded, harmonious clarity which makes the world seem a wonderful place and all problems surmountable moment after ejaculating.
Having just enjoyed an unexpected morning romp with his girlfriend, Nathan Muir realised the world is not so terrible after all if everyone just learned to get along.
He said: “Look at the sun glinting on the windows. Everything seems washed and new, and everything’s going to be alright. I know that now.
“I know the life goals I need to hit and precisely how I’ll hit them. It’s all laid out in my head and it’s so obvious. I don’t know why I was so muddled before, but that’s over.
“Who knows where I could go from here? I could finish that novel. I should call James about that business we were talking about the last time we went for beers. In this moment I know exactly how it would work, down to the logo.
“A past of confusion and befuddlement is over. My path in the world is so clear it’s like it’s signposted. I stride out of here a better man who will make better everything around him.”
Girlfriend Lauren Hewitt said: “My pussy really is magic. I should share it around more.”
