A WOMAN who managed to act normal during a 20-minute interview for a room in a shared house cannot wait to reveal how insane she is.
Emma Bradshaw, 28, appeared rational, polite and friendly when she met her new household, even though she was already plotting all the crazed things she would do as soon as she moved in.
Bradshaw said: “I was chucked out of my last flat for being a fucking nightmare, but there was no way this new bunch of housemates could know that.
“It was easy for me to pretend I’m a sweet-natured, tidy and considerate person, whilst secretly eyeing up the kitchen to see which pans would be best for preparing my Wiccan herb remedies.”
She added: “I told them how I love to socialise at the weekends, but am respectful of other people’s need for quiet time. They’ll soon realise I was talking out of my arse when I turn up with my bongos and collection of noisecore music.
“Communal living is wonderful. But only if you’re incredibly selfish and a bit ‘mad’, like me.”