TEACHERS who watch the offensive US medical drama Grey's Anatomy will not be banned from the classroom, the government has confirmed.
Despite the concerns of millions of parents, ministers said the teaching profession could not discriminate against the sort of halfwits who think that getting emotionally involved in the endless simperings of a group of third rate actors is a proper use of their time.
Tom Logan, a raging father of two from Grantham, said: "I do not want my children being taught English or chemistry by someone who has managed to convince themselves that Grey's Anatomy is quality television drama.
"We took our youngest out of his last primary school after we discovered his teacher thought Gwyneth Paltrow was an excellent role model."
Joanna Kramer, from York, added: "It's very insidious. Last week my daughter came home with this pathetic look on her face, put Fix You by Coldplay on the stereo and launched into a monologue about how you have to be willing to take a chance even though you might lose it all, but if you take that chance, the pay off might just surprise you.
"I grabbed her by the arm and shouted 'don't you bring that disgusting, offensive rubbish into this house'. It was all very upsetting."
Meanwhile the Association of Nazi Schoolteachers has outlined its plans for the summer term, including field trips to the grave of Sir Oswald Mosely and an increase in synchronised calisthenics and setting fire to synagogues.
Spokesman Reinhard Williams, a geography teacher from Doncaster, said: "I will be introducing my third years to the concept of lebensraum, while my colleagues in the history and maths departments will be focusing on interactive holocaust denial and Aryan calculus."
Six year-old Holly Bishop, whose teacher wears the collar tabs of an SS sturmbannführer, said: "Miss Bormann says we are not allowed to watch Grey's Anatomy as it promotes the coffee coloured melting pot of weak, racially immoral decadence that is 21st Century America."