Tuesday, 11th May 2021

Plumber sick of everyone coming to him with bloody plumbing problems

A PLUMBER who works seven days a week to keep up with demand wishes people would stop pestering him with jobs they want doing.

Tom Logan, who hasn’t had a holiday in six years, is fed up of being called out by grown men to carry out tasks they could do themselves with two twists of a spanner if they were not such needy, clueless idiots.

Logan said: “Granted, the money’s great but it’s just piling up unspent because five minutes can’t pass without someone on the blower whining about how their toilet’s bust and could I come out straight away?

“The geezer in question said his toilet wasn’t flushing. Turns out he wasn’t pushing hard enough on the button. And he’s a body builder. Cost him £100.

“I’ve been thinking of downgrading my rating from five stars to two with fake reviews just for some peace. I never see the wife and kids because I don’t have a wife and kids. Never had time.

“I’m thinking of retraining as an avant-garde poet. No bloody 24-hour call out for them, I’ll f**king bet.”