A PREGNANT woman struggling to deal with the heat is spearheading a ‘Don’t F**k In Autumn’ campaign to save others from suffering like she is.
Mary Fisher of Southampton wants to warn women to abstain from sexual intercourse entirely from September to November so they do not end up in the sweltering ready-to-drop hell that is her summer.
She continued: “I’m encouraging responsible conception by example. Don’t end up like me.
“I didn’t think about the consequences that fateful October night. I’m fine with the baby, we’d been trying for ages, but I didn’t realised I’d be lugging this cannonball around in 22-degree heat like I’m in training for the Paras.
“Do it in January. Make sweet, child-conceiving love on Valentine’s Day. Spend your entire summer holiday screwing yourselves raw. I couldn’t care less.
“But please, for your own sakes, don’t hump from the beginning of the academic year until you hear Mariah Carey’s sleigh bells. Save yourselves.
“I’ve got three fucking weddings to go to in the next month. I will deliver my message there.”