Monday, 8th March 2021

PTA mum starts bossing herself around

WITH no one else to organise or pressure into taking part in tedious fundraising events, a PTA mum has started bossing herself around.

Carolyn Ryan said: “I have a long list of tasks and events I invite myself to sign up for. I ask for my own help in slightly threatening tones, saying that otherwise the Zoom quiz night will be ruined.

“I asked myself if I wanted to buy raffle tickets for something called Jolly January. My tone made clear that if I didn’t, I would see myself as a cheapskate who didn’t care about the school community or, indeed, my own children’s futures.

“Finally, I forced myself to volunteer to assemble a ‘balloons ‘n’ bubbles hamper’ as a raffle prize and resentfully wrap it in yards of cellophane. After all, as I told myself in the WhatsApp group, these things don’t just happen by magic.

“I didn’t reply straight away, so I was forced to bitch about myself behind my own back. Ultimately, I really want to tell myself to f**k right off, which means I am doing it right.”