THE South Yorkshire town of Cleckburton used to be a thriving industrial hub. Today its shops are boarded up and there are no jobs, hopes or prospects for its inhabitants.
The reason? The onslaught of wokeness, a process which began in the late 1970s and has since laid waste to the town.
Longtime resident Roy Hobbs said: “Back in the day this was a lovely place. People looked out for each other, chatted over their back fences and were casually racist about anyone not born within a ten-mile radius of the market square.
“And now it’s dead. My dad told me that it was the result of de-industrialisation and a lack of investment in the North by successive governments but it turns out he was wrong because the Daily Mail says it’s all down to wokeness.
“It was after the cancellation of The Black And White Minstrel Show in 1978 that the rot set in. Within a couple of years factories began to close. Then you got alternative comedians like Ben Elton and that confusing pop singer Boy George and the pit closures happened.
“Thatcher did her best trying to stop the gays, but she was outnumbered. Jimmy Somerville, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, The Pet Shop Boys. She didn’t stand a chance.”
For a while, Cleckburton stabilised. But then came 2015, Jeremy Corbyn and millennials. The scourge Cleckburton had been flighting all those years was identified as ‘wokeness’.
“Things had been ok. We’d had a welcome return to sexism in the shape of lad culture and you could still shout racial slurs at a match without being banned from the ground.
“Then this new wave of wokeness arrived. Statues thrown in rivers. Women doing the football commentary. Adverts with black people in them for no reason.
“And now it’s pronouns. They’ve caused absolute devastation across South Yorkshire, have pronouns. How much do they think we can take?
“According to the Mail, our only hope is that a Conservative government – who have historically always given a shit about towns like ours – will level us up.
“And, given they’ve been in power since 2010, I’ve no doubt that help is just around the corner.”