MAKING your own sex tape is fraught with technical difficulties, it has emerged.
New data shows the ongoing trend for documenting intercourse has resulted in a 98% failure rate, with most efforts looking like two pinkish blobs trying to merge.
Emma Bradford, from Peterborough, said: “My husband and I made a sex tape because we slavishly copy all aspects of celebrity behaviour.
“On the first attempt we kicked the tripod over. Then it was in some weird night vision mode that made it look like the film Predator.
“We eventually got a bit of ok footage, but then my husband edited it on the computer with the decidedly unerotic soundtrack of Sweaty Betty by the Macc Lads.”
Roy Hobbs, from Hatfield, added: “Even a subtle thing like having a half-eaten packet of Hob Nobs visible on the bedside table can really spoil the magic.”