SWEARING education for six-year-olds is to become mandatory.
As of next year, swearing classes will feature in the curriculum at Year One stage. Children will initially be taught basic terms such as ‘piss’ and ‘shit’ before working their way up to more advanced usages like ‘giant bell end’.
Educationalist Donna Sheridan, who developed the pilot scheme, said Ignorance of the basic facts of swearing is shockingly widespread. It alarms me to hear grown adults using infantilisms like poo and wee.
Without swearing, we would be unable to articulate shock or alarm and consequently would probably die out as a species.
Those who object to swearing education should come down to our schools and see what we are doing. I would gladly sit down with them and tell them that theyre a shitload of twats.