RESEARCH showing that men lie more than women is proof they should stop asking them awkward questions in the first place, say scientists.
Male respondents were also found to feel less guilty about lying, as many thought that a six-hour lecture on their deficiencies was not really worth the bother.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute For Studies said: “The figures are open to interpretation, as for instance a woman that swears she’s telling the truth while pushing her breasts together is far more likely to be believed than a man trying the same trick.
“And what a woman might consider a filthy, disgusting lie is usually viewed by a man as a quick and effective way of avoiding a month on the couch on dry rations.
“But what seems to be coming through clearly is that if women got 100% truth from men all the time they’d spend their whole life crying, shouting and working on their lesbianism.”
The most frequent lies differed between the sexes, although ‘I’d never watch rubbish like X Factor’ and ‘Some of my best friends are black’ were common to both.
The top three for men were: My internet history resets itself every morning; So then I decked him and his mate and Of course I don’t fancy your sister.
For women, they were: I prefer back fat to a washboard stomach; Yes, it is meant to taste like that and Of course I don’t fancy your best mate.
Prof Brubaker added: “Lying seems to have developed through a mixture of genetic predisposition, societal pressures and an overwhelming desire to stop the rest of the world realising what a grasping, lust-driven, snack-addicted suitcase of shit you really are.”