Student to do three years of work in next ten weeks

A STUDENT has announced that she will be spending the next two-and-a-half months completing three full years of work, as planned.

Joanna Kramer, studying for a history degree at Leicester University, has attended six lectures for her own courses since 2015 plus four film studies ones when she was chasing a tall hipster.

She said: “Okay. Six dissertations, five exams, everything I was meant to be learning since Jeremy Corbyn became Labour leader in the time it takes to watch a box-set.

“Always knew it’d be hard, but I promised myself I wouldn’t bitch. I knew when I was enjoying my years of doing absolutely fuck-all there would be a price.

“It seems stupid with uni being so expensive, but it only makes your free time all the more valuable. When it’s costing this much why waste it working?

“Christ, what the fuck is the Jacobite rising? Is this even my course?”