AFTER the success of ‘sleeps’ and ‘holibobs’, the world’s idiots have decided more twee words and phrases are needed. Here are the latest ones.
‘Cakey cakey nom noms’: cakes
If you’re the sort of person who is unnaturally interested in cakes – and finds them somehow excitingly forbidden – you will feel no shame in saying, “Anyone fancy some cakey cakey nom noms?”
‘Topperooni’: good, excellent
Can be used in any situation, so long as you’re a twat, eg. “I did 250 bench presses today.” “Topperooni, mate. I did some good work on my abs with the kettlebells.”
‘Naughty time’: sex
Perfect for the Mumsnet generation who love this sort of twee shit. Expect them soon to be excitedly typing: “DD and DS @ sleepovers so LOTS of naughty time with DH!!!” “Need sum naughty time too, hunz!!!”
‘Binkitrimbo’: bank holiday
Just for consistency it’s good to have a nauseating term for bank holidays as well as holidays in general, except that anyone who says “Josh and I are just going to chillax on the binkitrimbo” clearly needs to be shot.
‘Deathibobs’: dying/being dead
Society’s inexplicable love of twee phrases means that in a few years’ time it will be normal to attend a funeral where the vicar says: “We are here today to mourn the deathibobs of George Alfred Jackson…”