TV dramas spark gazing revival

THE once-popular pastime of staring into the distance for minutes at a time is back in fashion thanks to Wolf Hall and Broadchurch.

Historian Nikki Hollis said: “For centuries gazing was Britain’s most popular hobby. In medieval times people would spend their leisure time looking out across fields and either smiling wryly at mankind’s folly, or wearing a pained expression as if peering into some secret wound that no love can ever heal.

“But in the last 100 years gazing has gradually fallen from favour, with people preferring to stare at screens.”

Tom Booker, 29, who runs gazing workshops in London, said: “Moist-eyed staring promotes a sense of spiritual well-being and improves your sex life by making you seem deeper and more interesting.”

Logan advised those who would like to try gazing to stand at a right angle to a window then slowly turn to look searchingly at some fixed point in the distance, such as a bush or road sign.

He added: “Hold your position until the windowpane is covered with your condensed breath and the world outside looks like some misty watercolour memory of the way we were.”

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Skunk smokers secretly want something weaker

PEOPLE who claim to enjoy skunk would secretly like some normal weed that doesn’t make them feel as weird.

22-year-old skunk smoker Tom Logan said: “I love showing off to mates about how sick my bud is, how it is covered in sticky crystals and delivers creamy bong tokes.

“But I would also like to be able to function, at least well enough to hold down my job in a mobile phone repair shop. Not that I would tell anyone that because it would seem weak and shameful.

“Unfortunately it is impossible to buy normal weed any more. Dealers assume there is no demand but that’s just because everyone wants to look hard and pretend to be American rappers.

“Buying cannabis has become like walking into an off license and finding it entirely stocked with Special Brew.”