Twitter Filled With People Being Wrong About Jan Moir Again

JUST four months after thousands of people were wrong about Jan Moir, the social network Twitter was today filled with them being wrong again.

Across Britain thousands of people took to their computers and mobile phones to be comprehensively wrong about freedom of speech and the role of the Press Complaints Commission.

@Nickking said: "Don't understand why PCC are not acting on #janmoir comments on Stephen Gateley. When 25,000 offended people complain it has to be offensive."

But Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, explained: "No it doesn't."

@Olipro added: "There is a right to free speech, however, that doesn't give you the right to publish vitriolic hate in a major newspaper. #JanMoir"

Professor Brubaker said: "Actually yes, that's exactly what it does."

Meanwhile @JohnPrescott, a publicly funded oaf, said: "25,000 people are obviously wrong. PCC decides to not censure #janmoir over her hateful Stephen Gately comments."

Professor Brubaker stressed: "As a matter of fact, science shows us that very large groups of people are obviously wrong about things every day.

"It could be something as simple as believing in God, giving money to Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow or watching Grey's Anatomy. And let's not forget that on May 5th 2005 17,609 people in Hull voted for John Prescott. They were obviously wrong and yet nothing was done about it."

And @paully_c said: "How do we go about getting the PCC removed and a proper independent authority put in charge? It's finally time. #janmoir #pcc."

Professor Brubaker explained: "No it isn't and, of course, it will only be independent up to the point where it does something you don't like."

He added: "And by the way, imagine being on the same side of an argument as John Prescott. Jesus Christ."


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Heartbroken Cheryl Wears Mini-Kiev On Wedding Finger

CHERYL Cole jetted off to Los Angeles last night, but sent wayward husband Ashley a poignant message by swapping her wedding ring for a mini chicken kiev.

Cole attached the bite-size snack to her finger using Blu-Tack and Sellotape just hours after millions of viewers had tuned in to the Brit Awards to examine her hand during a raunchy, in-your-face performance of Fight for this Love.

Nikki Hollis, editor of Shit magazine, said: "She is obviously sending Ashley a message because their wedding theme was chicken kiev.

"The groomsmen wore matching chicken kiev coloured morning suits and the conference and event suite at Wrotham Park was filled with millions and millions of tiny golden breadcrumbs."

She added: "They chose chicken kiev because that was the first thing they argued about. Ashley kept saying it was named after a person, while Cheryl insisted 'kiev' was French for 'garlic butter'.

"By strapping the mini-kiev to her wedding finger she is either saying 'I love you, we can still work this out' or she is saying 'you were wrong all those years ago about kiev being a person and you're still wrong now'."

But while Cheryl feels betrayed by her husband's naked phone sex bid, friends say the real reason behind the collapse of the marriage is that after four years Ashley still does not really understand what his wife is saying most of the time.

Hollis said: "Let's be honest, he's not the only one. I suspect a lot of people have seen her L'Oreal advert and thought 'why is that Hungarian woman hugging a Union Jack throw pillow?'"

Meanwhile historian Professor Martin Bishop said it was a well-established practice for celebrities to communicate with each other using jewellery and newspapers.

He added: "Chamberlain knew he had been hoodwinked by Hitler after the Nazi dictator was pictured in the Daily Express without the friendship bracelet the prime minister had given him at Berchtesgaden in September 1938."