PARENTS have told their school’s PTA that they will happily give them £100 now in order for them to f**k off for the rest of December.
After being asked to attend a Christmas fayre, mince pie sale and cracker-making workshop this weekend alone, families already stressed by the demands of the season have confirmed they just want a bit of peace.
Parent Emma Bradford said: “I am of course very grateful to the people who give up their time to improve the school but f**k me, they’re demanding this time of year.
“This week we’ve already had Christmas jumper day, been asked to bring in old toys for the raffle and had to attend two separate carol concerts. I love my children but they’re shit singers.
“And now we have to schlep into school on a Saturday to chaperone a load of kids off their tits on excitement, and weary parents will be guilt-tripped into buying a load of expensive tat to raise funds for the infants’ new Wellness Zone.
“I attempted to avoid being press-ganged into helping by wearing sunglasses to pick up my kids, but the PTA has eyes everywhere and I ended up agreeing to man the tombola for four hours.
“I’ve got a hip flask of gin, though. That should help numb the pain.”
