AN anonymous whistleblower has revealed that Britain’s universities are hotbeds of dweebish behaviour.
The source claimed that campuses across the country are now in the grip of the type of people who would rather read a book than drink a yard of lager then piss the bed.
The whistleblower said: “University is meant to be a safe space for youthful alcoholism. But there is a growing culture of dweebery which is making normal people very very uneasy.”
Self-proclaimed bookworm Helen Archer said: “I’m part of a new generation who don’t want to piss their borrowed money up the wall, and who aren’t interested in feeble, clichéd banter. So sue me.
“There are some extremist elements, though. Last weekend a rugby match was cancelled so some dweebs could re-create the Destruction of Isengard from Lord of the Rings.
“It’s been reported, but nothing seems to have been done.”