Woman hopes post condemning populism gets a lot of likes

A WOMAN hopes her Facebook post about how populism is bad gets loads of likes.

25-year-old Emma Bradford wrote: “Populism is really bad. People like Trump haven’t got any integrity, they just do whatever they think will please the most people. They’ve got no SOUL.”

Bradford, who regularly posts pictures of herself in bikinis or her visually-appealing-yet-healthy meals, said: “Populism is a subject that a lot of people are interested in so, so I’m confident of getting lots of likes.

“Obviously I believe in what I said, but if commenting on such a zeitgeisty topic also raises my profile on social media and makes relative strangers think I am clever, that’s a minor bonus.

“Tackling populism in such a fearless way might even improve my career prospects. Employers like it if you know about things.”

She added: “I’m ready to tackle edgy subjects, as long as I’m entirely certain everyone will agree with me.”

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Only thing family knows about man is that he likes chutney

A MAN  has managed to share so little of himself that all relatives know is that he likes chutney.

Roy Hobbs, an enigmatic accountant and father of two, has not revealed anything about himself for years except his enjoyment of savoury preserves.

Roy said: “A decade ago I ate some tomato chutney that actually tasted of something, and I suppose I must have made the right noises and facial expressions because every birthday and Christmas since I have been given chutney.”

Hobbs’s wife, Sheila, said: “When people ask me for gift ideas for Roy, chutney is all I can think of to tell them.

“I’d love to know what’s on his mind, but he’s not a big talker, and he’s certainly no listener. The children and I have come to accept him as a barely animate but completely benign presence in the house.”

Hobbs added: “I could open up and talk about my love of 15th century Flemish art, or how fiendishly elusive true happiness feels, but I’d rather just keep quiet and be the fat git eating something wet and lumpy with his cheese.”