A WOMAN has solemnly pinned a poppy to the strap of her sexy lace padded plunge bra, it has emerged.
Lauren Hewitt fastened the symbol of remembrance to her erotic underwear so that her boyfriend Tom Booker would not think she was being disrespectful to the memory of Britain’s fallen troops.
She said: “It’s important to pay tribute to our armed forces at this time of year. Even when you’re about to slob on some knob or suggest doing bareback anal.
“Imagine if I’d sauntered into the bedroom wearing nothing but a matching set of bra and panties without a poppy. It would have totally killed the mood and Tom would have stormed out in a huff. And he’d be right to do so.
“Our soldiers paid the ultimate price so that I could wear knickers that ride right up my arse crack. If I wasn’t sporting a poppy on Ann Summers’ finest then I’d essentially be saying their death was for nothing and Hitler won.
“Maybe we won’t even f**k. We could sit on the bed for two minutes in total silence then Tom can quietly hum The Last Post.”
Tom Booker said: “No, the glorious dead would definitely want us to shag each other’s brains out.”
