Woman sacked for not liking lattes

A WOMAN has been sacked for failing to embrace coffee culture.

27-year-old account manager Nikki Hollis admitted not being keen on coffee or having an opinion on which was the superior version of the drink.

Line manager Emma Bradford said Hollis’s negative attitude to coffee was affecting workplace morale:  “Everyone else arrives in the office gripping a Costa cup. Claire seems to do her entire commute without a hot beverage, and then comes in and makes herself a tea, and even then it’s English breakfast.

“I could almost forgive her if it were Earl Grey, or perhaps camomile and peppermint, but normal tea? What the fuck is that about?

“She’s playing some sort of mind game and I want no part of it.”

Bradford claims Hollis would occasionally go all day without a hot drink, and doesn’t even know what a Mocha Cotado is.

“It was so weird that she might as well have been riding a large dog around the office. We couldn’t hold department meetings because of her point-blank refusal to bring a coffee in with her.

“I pity the next firm that takes her on, to be honest. I can’t see her fitting in anywhere.”

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Tennis pay should reflect society, says Djokovic

NOVAK Djokovic has declared that the gender pay gap that exists in the workplace should also apply to tennis.

Responding to suggestions that female players should receive less prize money than their male counterparts, Djokovic acknowledged that tennis had a responsibility to reflect the social roles of men and women.

The Wimbledon champion said: “Women should get 79 per cent of what men make, and they should also be subjected to continuous low-grade sexual harassment and be under-represented in positions of power. Why should tennis be different to any other job?

“Men are providers, which is why male tennis players should get all the money, and women tennis players should feed and clothe the ballboys and ballgirls and keep the changing rooms neat and tidy.

“Then, after we breadwinners come home after a hard day hitting tennis balls, they should bring us a nice cool glass of Lucozade and our comfy slippers.

“They can play their own tennis after they’ve cooked us dinner and washed up, so long as they stop the unladylike grunting and remember to smile more when they hit the ball.” 

After his comments were criticised, Djokovic explained that he was only joking and that women needed to get a sense of humour.