A WOMAN who has messaged implying she is mere moments away from a rendezvous sent it from the bath.
Nikki Hollis agreed to attend a 6pm birthday celebration at a cocktail bar, and then watched Netflix in bed until 15 minutes before she was due to arrive.
Friend Lucy Parry said: “The reservation isn’t until half-six but I told her the wrong time as I’m well aware that a text saying ‘5 mins tops’ means Nikki is still wearing her pyjamas.
“She’ll be ’round the corner’ for a good half hour. Then the story will switch to a late Uber that gets stuck in rush hour traffic, even though that doesn’t exist because of the pandemic.
“And then she’ll breeze in with a bit of shopping she’s picked up, and act as if she hasn’t ruined the whole night because we’ve only got the table for two hours and it’s too late to order any food.
“Why am I friends with her? Good f**king question.”
Hollis said: “Almost there, babes!”