Woman thinks Adidas is a designer label

A WOMAN believes popular brands of sportswear such as Adidas and Nike are designer clothing.

Office worker Nikki Hollis regularly confuses high street brands with actual designer labels like Gucci, particularly when discussing her favourite topic, ‘scroungers’.

Hollis said: “All the people on the benefits programmes on Channel 5 wear designer labels like Adidas, Puma and Dunlop. They must be rich as kings.

“I work like a slave 36.5 hours a week and there’s no way I could just go into Sports Direct and buy a Nike tracksuit. I don’t know how much they cost but it’s probably £2,000 at least.

“There’s a bloke down the road on incapacity benefit and he’s always flashing his designer Reebok trainers around. I bet his mobility scooter was made by Versace.”

An Adidas spokesman said: “Our products are not technically ‘designer’ because we don’t employ a top couturier like Coco Chanel to make £40 polyester tracksuits.

“Also it’s unlikely that Liz Hurley would have gone to the premiere of Four Weddings and a Funeral dressed as a small-time cannabis dealer from Middlesbrough.”


Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Football Manager '08 team remembered more fondly than first love

A MAN has fonder memories of the team he built up on Football Manager 2008 than he does about his first love.

Tom Booker often likes to think about the Leeds United team he built up from scratch and took all the way to the Champions League Final.

He said: “We went through a lot, I saw them grow as players and I discovered a young Anthony Martial before Man United did.

“You’d be surprised how many people are genuinely impressed by that when I tell them. And rightly so.”

He added: “And a word to the wise, in the next year or so year there might just be a hot young Norwegian player called Jan Oyvid Anderson who is going to be world class.

“Unless he was just created by the game’s name generator with a bunch of possible playing stats made up for him. I hope he wasn’t.”

He added: “My first love? I think she was called Brenda and I think she was nice.”