Woman to boycott Pepsi until first moment it’s inconvenient

A WOMAN offended at Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi advert has sworn to boycott the drink until the moment it becomes inconvenient to do so.

The advert, which is a piece of shit, has so outraged Susan Traherne that she poured away a full litre of Pepsi Max that had gone flat two days ago. 

She continued: “This won’t be an easy sacrifice to make because there’s no real substitute for a Pepsi, but it shows how committed I am to this struggle. 

“I really believed in that brand, which is why I always chose them over their rivals if they had an offer on.

“I almost reached for one this morning in the canteen, but I had a 7-Up instead. Because I have integrity.” 

Traherne’s boycott is expected to last almost 36 hours, only ending when a barman asks her if Pepsi is okay and she nods assent without meeting his eye. 

A Pepsi spokesman said: “We are sorry for suggesting that Pepsi is the key to world peace. Everyone knows it’s Irn-Bru.”