CONSUMERS should be able to choose whether or not they want to buy a useless, second-hand car and leave it rusting in their driveway, a crazy right-wing think tank has claimed.
The Adam Smith Institute said that Rover 200 buying should be done on a voluntary basis and that perhaps you should not have to go to jail if you don’t want one.
A spokesman said: “It just sits there doing nothing except attracting talentless, foul-mouthed vagrants who want to use it as their home.
“And once they’re in it’s very difficult to get them out. Eventually you’re forced to break into your neighbour’s Audi and fill it with Special Brew.”
But Bill McKay, one of that lot from Stevenage, said: “This is just typical, out-dated Thatcherite ideology trying to tell me that I shouldn’t have to buy something. I am filled with hate.”
And Julian Cook, from Finsbury Park, added: “This research has obviously been funded by one of those large, right-wing American car companies owned by an Australian.
“These amoral bastards won’t be happy until everyone in this country can decide for themselves.”
Wayne Hayes, head of the Rover 200 studies module at Doncaster University, said: “While they are obviously psychotic fascists, they do raise an interesting point about why you have to have a rusty old piece of shit in your drive whether you want it there or not.
“Some people genuinely like having to buy a useless, second-hand car every year and then just leave outside their house. It makes them feel more British.
“But ultimately, I just don’t think we can have a meaningful debate in this country about reforming the system of Rover 200 purchasing while Sir David Attenborough is still alive.”