BRITAINS historical battle re-enactors have volunteered their services for the forthcoming Crimean war.
Men fascinated by military history and dressing up fancy are eager to recreate Britains victory in the 1853 conflict by taking on the Russian army.
Bank manager Roy Hobbs said: Were incredibly excited about fighting the Russians with nothing but our replica smoothbore muskets.
Our troops are fully mobilised for the Crimea, by which I mean our wives have ironed our Redcoat uniforms, made us packed lunches and informed the Ministry of Defence weve got Easyjet tickets on standby.
Well hire a minibus to take us from Sevastopol airport to the battlefield, then march slowly in a line towards the enemy positions full of tense Russian soldiers armed with AK-47s while shouting Death to the Tsar!
Once weve defeated them like we did in 1856 well probably all go to the pub. They say war is hell, but in my experience its also a really good day out.
However, some strategists questioned the military wisdom of pitting untrained and over excited history buffs up against professional soldiers in an advanced state of battle-readiness.
Hobbss wife Fiona said: They should at least take the fake cannon they made for the Battle of Naseby which blows a puff of smoke out of the end. That might scare the Russians a bit.
Still, it cant be any worse than when they did the Charge of the Light Brigade. That was a total disaster, thanks to all the rain.