Sunday, 7th June 2020

Everyone in office meeting has their arms folded

EVERYONE at an office meeting has their arms folded and is refusing to meet anyone else’s eye, it has emerged. 

The meeting, an open forum about office wellness, was attended exclusively by people who did not want to be there, refused to engage and were waiting for it to be over.

Communications manager Martin Bishop said: “I can’t claim to be a body language expert, but it seemed negative.

“Young and old, man and woman, every ethnicity, we all had folded arms and tight lips as the woman from HR encouraged us to share any concerns we might have which would be later held against us.

“Some of us were pretending to be resolute, others to be keen to get back to work, Shaun hadn’t ironed his shirt and Jenny said she was genuinely freezing, but either way it was a fortress of good, honest, British stonewalling. Well done everyone.”

Boss Joanna Kramer said: “Every meeting would be like that, if they didn’t have to reach for biscuits.”