Friday, 10th July 2020

Rory Stewart is 'active MI6 agent infiltrating extreme right-wing organisation'

RORY Stewart is an active MI6 agent currently in deep cover in an extreme right-wing group planning to devastate Britain, sources have revealed. 

Stewart has worked his way to a prominent position in the organisation and has informed his superiors that the fanatics are seizing control, that they intend to wreck the UK to spread terror across Europe, and they must be stopped.

Speaking through an encrypted phone connection, he said: “It’s worse than we thought. I’m going to need clearance for the ultimate sanction.

“I’ve been undercover for nine years watching them move from essentially being a fringe group of dabblers to a hardcore of radical terrorists determined to destroy Parliament and take Britain back to medieval times.

“Like ISIS, there’s no one leader. Kill the main guy and another six will pop up in his place, each one a wild-eyed lunatic worst than the last.

“The only option is to terminate with extreme prejudice. I’ve managed to get myself invited to a TV event the leaders are attending tonight. It’ll be a bloodbath, but there’s no other way.”

He added: “Do they suspect me? No. They’re all thick as f*ck.”