A MAN who phoned in sick last week is confident his colleagues will not notice the change in his skin colour.
Tom Booker called in last Tuesday claiming he had ‘shingles’ before setting up a sun lounger in his garden.
He said: “I have no idea what ‘shingles’ means, but I can’t remember the last time I felt so relaxed and happy. I suppose I have picked up a bit of a tan, but the idiots in charge here won’t notice.
“I’ve got it all worked out.”
Booker’s line manager, Karen Jones, said: “Shingles, my arse. I can see the outline of sunglasses on his stupid, rust-coloured face. What an absolute fuckwit.”
Booker said that if he is questioned he will claim the tan is a symptom of ‘shingles’ or, if necessary, he will just burst into tears.
Jones added: “At least he didn’t put it on Facebook, unlike Dan from accounts who went to Glastonbury last month and is getting fired this afternoon.”