YOUR boss is unfairly expecting you to work at your desk without falling asleep after you have eaten lunch, it has emerged.
The expectation has been condemned by everyone on your team because it is unreasonable to demand productivity once you have eaten two Greggs sausage rolls and a packet of salt and vinegar Hula Hoops.
Colleague Helen Archer said: “I struggle to get anything done before lunch, let alone afterwards. Those last few hours are a always complete write-off.
“And yet I’m still getting invited to meetings and being questioned about my KPIs as late as half four. Even though by that point the entire workforce of the UK is practically unconscious.”
Co-worker Martin Bishop said: “This is exactly the sort of cruel treatment that unions used to protect us from. Afternoons are for dossing around on Facebook and sacking off early, everyone knows that.
“I like to wangle out of afternoon work by heading out for lunch then never coming back. Why else do you think pubs open around then?”
Boss Tom Booker said: “It’s really hard setting a standard I don’t live up to myself and getting everyone to go along with it. That’s why I’m paid 12 times more than you.”
