CONSERVATIVE candidates in council elections have reassured voters that Boris Johnson being prime minister was just a terrible nightmare.
Stephen Malley, a Tory candidate for Nuneaton, says he has met hundreds of emotional voters on doorsteps who shared a distressing collective dream in which the former London mayor and journalist was leading the country.
He said: “It must have been very vivid. They’re often red-faced and shaking just at the thought of it.
“I soothe them and say of course there couldn’t be a Conservative prime minister partying in Downing Street while they were unable to see their dying relatives. That’s the stuff of nightmares.
“I remind them we’re the party of law and order so there’s no way our leader would be fined for breaking the law in office, let alone lying while presiding over a whole lawbreaking culture.
“And I point out the Tories stand for low tax and strong fiscal management, so the tax burden can’t be the highest since the 1940s while inflation’s soaring, all under a leader who visibly couldn’t give a f**k.
“They blink, shake their heads and say ‘No. No, that couldn’t be real could it? Or I’d be the twat for voting Tory.’ I confirm they’re not. Then off they go to vote Tory again.”