Subscribe

Build back bollocks: Six other alliterative slogans the fat prick could have used

A BORED Boris Johnson told Britain to ‘build back beaver’ and ‘build back burger’ for shits and giggles yesterday. What else could the verbose bastard have said? 

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now

The dull-as-f**k shit you get excited about in your 30s

ONCE you turn 30 you’re boring and only boring things thrill you. These are the punishingly dull things you now find fascinating: 

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now
Next story ›