Subscribe

Can you find Morgan McSweeney's phone and instantly end the Starmer government?

THE goal has been set: find the supposedly stolen phone of former Starmer aide Morgan McSweeney, end the current government and choose the next one. Here’s how:

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now

The coward's way to stay out of bravery award situations

A MAN has won a bravery award for talking down a suicide bomber in a hospital. But inveterate cowards should be prepared for such situations too. Here’s what to do.

Join Mash Premium today

Subscribe to read all articles, ad-free.

Choose a subscription plan

£0 first month

  • One Month for Free
  • £3 per month thereafter
Start Trial Now

£30 / Year

Better value and makes you superior

  • Unlimited ad-free access
  • Save 17% on the monthly price
Buy Now

£200

Live another 6 years and you're ripping us off

  • Pay once - that's it
  • Unlimited ad-free access
Buy Now
Next story ›