Friday, 30th October 2020

Child inspired by Boris Johnson to be a lying adulterer when he grows up

A SPEECH by Boris Johnson at a primary school has made a child want to follow in the footsteps of his new hero.

Six-year-old Josh Hudson was so impressed by the prime minister’s surprise visit that he has ditched plans to become a fireman or a pilot in favour of becoming an untrustworthy journalist and notorious skirt-chaser.

Hudson said: “Boris is ace. The moment he entered the classroom I could tell he’d barely prepared and was winging it. 

“When I grow up I’m going to get loads of money and power whilst being a lazy arse. I’m not being a fireman anymore, I want to be really rich while treating everything as a big joke.

“I’m going to work for a newspaper knocking out propaganda pieces about the EU, rather than real journalism, and if I have a few affairs and illegitimate kids along way, my wife can f**k off. She knew what I was like.”

Hudson’s mum Sarah said: “It’s charming to see Josh copying Boris. He wrote up ‘What I did in my summer holidays’ and it was a tissue of lies. He even claimed to to have been in a UFO.

“He’s invited all the girls in his class to his birthday party, which is nice. However I don’t really agree with him demanding £30,000 to speak to us after family dinners.”