My high-profile job is at risk because I’ve surrounded myself with inept morons and pathetic toadies who are slowly turning against me. How can I lift my flagging spirits?
It all started so well. I swept into work on my first day buoyed up by smiling faces and cheering crowds. This was my dream job and I’d made loads of empty promises to get it.
I couldn’t do any wrong. Even when I f**ked up catastrophe after catastrophe, colleagues were always on my side, especially Nadine, who I admit is not all there. It was like I was bulletproof and I got drunk on the power.
Lots of unsavoury stories about me came out, and that’s when the mood started to turn. I won’t bore you with the details, but I’ve been a bit of an arse and people are actually holding me to account for it! Unbelievable, I know.
They tried to boot me out but I stood firm. Now even more people are telling me to leave and I’m worried that the idiots in my team might have woken up to the fact I’m a fat, useless bluffer. What should I do?
‘Alex’ of London
Donna replies: It’s easy to blame others when you yourself are at fault. Have you considered that your ineptitude is the cause of your lack of optimism? Maybe you should lay off the wine and try and do five minutes work for once in your life.
As for winning over your colleagues, that usually requires a degree of humility. Have you tried a sincere apology? If that doesn’t work, offer them a promotion. If they’re the ambitious arse-lickers you say that will keep them in line.
If all else fails, salvage some self-respect by accepting responsibility for the situation. It might involve walking away from your job, but by the sounds of it that could make everyone, including yourself, much happier.
I trust you have a competent successor in place should you resign? You wouldn’t want to leave an even worse person in charge to clear up your mess. That would be really depressing for everyone.
Hope that helps!