PRESIDENT Zelensky, who has just noted the UK by-election results on international news, knows exactly who this is calling on the phone.
The leader of Ukraine, who is largely focused on Russian advances around Severodonetsk, saw a brief summary of the results on CNN, and sighed in anticipation of the conversation he would soon be having.
He said: “I shouldn’t complain. We’ll probably get another 500 anti-tank missiles out of it. But God damn is it predictable.
“The moment he’s in big trouble, and I’ve got to say that appears to be at least once a fortnight, he is on the phone. He was here in person a week ago. So I don’t think it’s helping.
“I have a war going on here. The fighting is brutal. My country is being devastated. Last time I had to very firmly say that I would not be able to take ‘a few days off’ to attend the Conservative party conference in October.
“See? My phone’s ringing now. I promise you I don’t even have to look at caller ID. It can only be one guy. Sorry, I’d better take this.
“Hi, is Zelensky. Boris, old chum! What a surprise it is you calling! How is life in the UK?”