A LATE addition to the King’s Speech has the monarch listing a number of Labour MPs and cabinet members who ‘will henceforward be known as whiny little bitches’.
The amendment, written in pen by the prime minister, lists Jess Phillips, Miatta Fahnbulleh, Alex Davies-Jones and Zubir Ahmed as ‘mewling pukes who were absolutely right to resign, as the further they are from government the better’.
King Charles III, after introducing more than 35 bills and draft bills on areas as varied as the NHS, immigration, police reform and nationalising British Steel, will then be required to decry the current health secretary as ‘a stone-ass cry-baby loser’.
He will continue: “And there are those other bitches, who are too many and too boring to list, who have called for me to step down. I note many of them are Welsh or Scottish, which is its own punishment.
“Many of the rest are former followers of Corbyn, yet have remained in Labour rather than join the – I apologise for the language – clusterf**k of Your Party, proving my leadership beats that mess. They may remain anonymous. It is all they deserve.”
King Charles added: “May I add I have no personal wish to introduce a new prime minister at this stage in my reign, given what happened when Liz Truss met my mother.”
