MISERABLE people who want everyone to be unhappy like them have begged Theresa May to carry on with austerity.
While most Britons welcomed the proposed end of austerity, there was disappointment among those who enjoy wallowing in misery, preferably other people’s.
Retired park keeper Norman Steele said: “We didn’t vote for austerity for trivial economic reasons but because it’s just the way things should be – grim and depressing.
“My wife and I have always thought of austerity as a collective punishment for everything that’s wrong with modern society. By which I mean dole scroungers, overpaid public sector workers and reggae.
“People have it too easy these days, with their big TVs and fancy public libraries. When I was young the teachers would beat you unconscious with iron bars just for smiling. I definitely remember that happening.”
His wife Linda said: “We’re from the Second World War generation, which is people who watched a lot of war films in the 1960s and 70s. It was character-building, seeing what those actors went through.
“I just want the government to carry on with austerity but make it worse. They should get rid of buses and make everyone walk everywhere in shoes that are too tight. Or diver’s boots.”