ARE you taking the f**king piss, Wales? You think we’d have bothered covering a by-election in bloody Caerphilly if Reform weren’t going to win?
It’s not even to proper Parliament. It’s the Senedd, which nobody east of Wrexham gives even a ghost of a shit about. But nonetheless, because it was a nailed-on Reform win and a harbinger of their landslide election victory to come, we sent our journalists.
We did grubby vox pops with your hideously-accented natives. We pretended to care about your pathetic local issues, like ‘closing a library’. We said you were a bellwether for the whole of Wales, not to mention the UK. Then you do this?
What are we meant to do with a f**king Plaid Cymru win? Start claiming they’re the inevitable winners of the next election? A bunch of stumpy-legged daffodil-frotters? Nobody would believe that. They’ve only got four MPs, compared to Reform’s mighty five.
Shamefully, we’ve had to fall back on what a humiliation it is for Labour. It’s temporary, while we work out how to fit this into the narrative of Reform’s unstoppable rise to power, but it’s embarrassing.
There are even whispers this was our fault. That by confidently predicting a Reform victory we somehow mobilised the youth against them, when we know Gen Z is into racism and fascism because we’ve been saying it all year.
How do you think you’ve made Nigel feel? He was there, his Mercedes idling in a lay-by outside Machen, waiting for his victory. You’ve let him down. You’ve let us all down.
