Britain officially a banana republic

BRITAIN is now officially a banana republic with sunshine, a sham democracy and a reasonably good football team.

The inevitable rigged election between a well-intentioned socialist and a puppet of international finance that will follow, means Britain and its poor-but-smiling natives are now part of the developing world. 

Economist Norman Steele said: “Look at those barefoot children kicking a ball about in the dust where crops should be growing. They have nothing, but they’re happy. 

“The people, indolent and disinterested because of their country’s blazing sun, will pay no attention to an election corrupted by foreign money and wave through the appointment of a despot who’s good on the telly. 

“Eventually the football team will win the World Cup and make everything seem okay. It’s the full package.”