DAVID Cameron has finally grasped the basic concept of industrial action after a gruelling 14-hour tutorial.
The faux-velvet prime minister had previously thought that going on strike involved eating undercooked seafood and had based his profound ideological opposition to it on this assumption.
Cameron said: “So the trades unions will attempt – quite deliberately, mark you – to stop people from doing things they had planned to do? That’s horrid. And they’re even allowed to do this during the Olympics? Really?”
He told the House of Commons: “I have tickets to Usain Bolt and Tom Daley and have told all my friends I’m going. And that’s that.”
The threat of Olympic strike action was raised by Unite general secretary Len Mcluskey after he realised it was the unbelievably obvious thing to do.
Even RMT leader Bob Crow backed the move before asking: “Right, what are we striking about this time?”
The government now wants to reform industrial relations by requiring workers to check with the prime minister’s diary before withdrawing their labour.
A spokesman said: “There’s a couple of Sundays in late August when he will be on a massive Russian yacht while his official look-alike is in Cornwall.”
Cameron added: “So that’s why they stand in front of buildings with their angry placards, is it? To stop people going in? Fascinating.”