Cameron To Spend Two Weeks As A Wheelie Bin

TORY leader David Cameron is to spend two weeks living as a wheelie bin in East London in a bid to highlight the current crisis in British refuse collection.

Cameron (left) with shadow environment minister Baroness Byford

Mr Cameron said he would act as a standard-sized bin for an average family of two adults and two children living in a modest terrace house in Hackney.

“I want them to just treat me like any normal bin, not like the leader of a major political party, and just stuff me full of their crap,” he said.

Nina Narne, the Hackney resident whose bin Mr Cameron would be, said she was looking forward to using the opposition leader as a rubbish receptacle.

She said: “It’s a new type of politics, it’s clean and fresh, and it shows David Cameron is a man who cares about the little people. I mean, when did you last see Gordon Brown offer to eat someone’s banana skin?”

The Tory leader’s wheelie bin stint follows recent moves by most councils in Britain to cease all bin collections and force householders to eat all their own rubbish.

Mr Cameron said he, or his butler, already consumed most of his own family’s refuse but he doubted whether it was possible to digest everything, particularly large quantities of disused truffle oil.

The wheelie bin exercise follows a busy period for Mr Cameron during which he has spent a week dressed as a football mascot, four days living on the Moon, three days working as a cod, a weekend as a lap dancer, and 40 seconds leading the Tory party.

After he has finished his wheelie bin experiment he plans to spend the rest of the year living as a smug middle-class twat in Notting Hill.