MAKING your flat nice is incredibly difficult if you don’t have between £58,000 and £200,000 to spend. Could you do it? Take our quiz and find out.
What state was the flat in before?
A) Totally dilapidated. But if I shop around I’ll find the right builders to fix it up on my modest budget.
B) A recently refurbished John Lewis furniture nightmare that will need to be changed from the ground up.
Wallpaper should be…
A) A last resort. First you need to strip the old stuff, then you need to whack on the new stuff. It’s a nightmare. Just use cheap paint.
B) Sheets of solid gold leaf fixed in place with an adhesive that has diamonds in it. Anything less would look tacky.
What are your interior design inspirations?
A) Whatever doesn’t involve remortgaging the flat and doesn’t require a trip to IKEA. So basically anything in the Argos catalogue.
B) A pretentious interior design expert beloved by A-list celebrities, whose general aesthetic can be described as ‘colonialism chic’.
What should furniture be made from?
A) Something soft and bouncy to cushion my arse. Springs and plastic foam should do the trick.
B) Wooden canes that have been woven into the vague shape of a chair or sofa. They’re as comfortable as they are affordable.
What are your thoughts on bold patterns?
A) I can tolerate them on a cushion. But just the one cushion.
B) They should be everywhere. Your goal is for everything to look like a magic eye picture that will give you a migraine in seconds.
Mostly As: You’re a tight bastard but you could easily redecorate a flat for less than £200,000. Although it would probably look a bit generic.
Mostly Bs: You’ve probably already spunked thousands on a jewel-encrusted door knob and need to set up a shady charity to bankroll the rest. Stick to more harmless jobs in the future, like pretending to run the country.