Everything man once found refreshing and different about Corbyn now idiotic and awful

A LABOUR supporter now regards everything that makes Jeremy Corbyn stand out from other politicians as unspeakably stupid. 

Stephen Malley believes Corbyn’s vegetarianism, support for Palestine and six wins in the Parliamentary Beard of the Year awards, which he thought set the politician apart from rivals, are solid reasons for him to resign immediately.

Malley continued: “He doesn’t even own a car. What a dick.

“I thought that was great because he understands the ordinary cyclists of London and why should he be all into money and status, but now I realise it automatically disqualifies him from office.

“’Not one of these slick politicians who pumps out soundbites’, I said. Instead we’ve got a man who regards every television camera as a personal affront and speaks like he’s addressing a PTA meeting.

“He promised a new kind of politics. We’ve got that alright.”

Malley added: “I honestly thought him never wearing a tie was cool. Was I a 12-year-old metalhead cross about his school uniform?”

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35-year-old mocked for own-brand Hula Hoops

A 35-YEAR-OLD man is the laughing stock of his office after being seen eating supermarket own-brand Hula Hoops at his desk. 

Tom Logan, a sales manager with a company Audi, was spotted with a packet of Asda Meaty Variety Potato Loops shortly before 11am, with the news reaching everyone in head office by 11.04am and all regional offices by 11.10am.

Logan said: “I hadn’t even finished them when Mark from audit asked me to ‘keep him in the potato loop’ about the new contracts, snickering.

“Then Kelly asked about official company policy on prawn shells, cheese curls or potato discs and I knew something was up.

“When I entered the canteen and saw Warren with Hula Hoops on all his fingers saying ‘Look at me, I’m a millionaire!’ I realised my mistake.

“By the afternoon even the work experience was cracking jokes about the ‘meaty variety stink’ around my desk.

“I shall only eat branded crisps from now on. My peers have spoken.”

Colleague Eleanor Shaw said: “And did you see his trainers on casual Friday? Gola. Gaylord trainers.”