Friday, 4th December 2020

Keir Starmer's definitely-not-bullshit Desert Island Discs

HI, Keir here. I’ve been given a bit of ‘stick’ for choosing Three Lions as one of my Desert Island Discs. Allow me to reassure you that I genuinely love the following hits: 

World in Motion by New Order

I listen to this 1990 World Cup song at least six times a day. Not because I’m ineptly trying to appeal to patriotic voters, but because John Barnes’s raps are so bloody good. He could have been a British Mos Def.

Waterloo by Abba

There’s nothing like a bit of 70s disco. The fact that the one I’ve chosen is about a famous British military victory is coincidence. I’m sure there are loads of disco tracks about British martial triumphs. I imagine Donna Summer did one about Agincourt.

Street Tuff by Rebel MC and Double Trouble

Talking of the British Mos Def, I think we all remember this 1989 hit as one of the greatest rap songs ever produced, don’t we? Of course we do, and unlike something by say, Stormzy, it isn’t a completely predictable choice that the media will take the piss of.

This Time (We’ll Get it Right) by the 1982 England World Cup squad

Another England football song – I must really like England and football, like voters do! Who could forget the poetic, Dylan-esque lyrics, ‘We’re on our way/ We are Ron’s 22/ Hear the roar/ Of the red, white and blue’, or the haunting vocals of Glenn Hoddle?

In the Army Now by Status Quo

A song that combines two great British institutions: our armed forces and Status Quo. All brave men and women, and while Rick Parfitt and Francis Rossi may never have borne arms for their country, they did do a heroic amount of cocaine.

Vindaloo by Fat Les

I always have this on in the car… no, I’m sorry, this is going too far. Excuse me while I go and give a spad a bollocking.