Miliband now less impressive than D-list celebrity who’s talking shit

ED Miliband is now less convincing than a former member of Hear’Say.

The Labour leader plumbed new depths as Myleene Klass attacked his ‘mansion tax’ plan by berating him with specious nonsense.

Klass, worth an estimated £10 million, suggested most houses in London cost at least £2m, while Miliband sat there not telling her she was full of shit.

Appearing on ITV’s The Agenda, Miliband seemed unable to tell Klass that not only was she wrong, but that she sounded stupid.

A shadow cabinet member said: “The obvious thing to say in these situations is ‘why don’t you just shut up?’.

“Perhaps Ed thinks Myleene Klass has credibility. In that sense he is woefully out of touch.

“We should replace him with Alan Johnson or the woman who played Madge in Neighbours.”


Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Employers will hire any f*ckwit if they went to a fancy school

BOSSES have confirmed they want to hire people who attended fancy schools, even if they are utter morons.

Marketing company boss Norman Steele said: “I am the worst sort of aspirational tosspot, which means that as soon as a Harrovian’s CV lands on my desk I am frothing at the chance to fawn over them.

“I built this firm up from nothing because I have a massive sense of class inferiority.”

Local newspaper editor Tom Booker said: “There are some things that are just inherent to an old Etonian, like a lovely complexion.

“Even if they completely and utterly fuck everything up, they do it in the charming manner of a hapless character in a British romantic comedy.

“Some of my low to mid-level staff went to comprehensives and they’re fine but you always worry that they might bite you for no reason, like those square-headed dogs they all adore.

“And they don’t appreciate cigars, at least not on any meaningful level.”