ED Miliband’s pledge tablet has been made available to anyone wanting to try their hand at obscene graffiti.
The so-called ‘Milistone’ has already been daubed with numerous penis drawings and slogans including ‘Milibellend’ and ‘a f**k-up of BIBLICAL proportions’.
David Cameron said: “Despite utterly crushing him in the election, I want to graciously acknowledge Ed’s lasting contribution to British politics by displaying the Milistone in the park opposite his house and inviting interested parties to draw cocks on it.
“You can write whatever, there are no boundaries. Be as dark as you like.”
Michael Gove has already decorated the tablet with smug, self-conscious Latin obscenities, while members of the public have opted for more generic phrases including ‘tits are lush’ and ‘Martin is a bender’.
Labour peer Peter Mandelson said: “If Ed had spent less time messing about with plinths and more time being an arsehole, he’d be prime minister right now.”