Monday, 25th May 2020

'So, we're all agreed this is a great deal' confirms May

THERESA May is happy that everyone thinks her Brexit deal is brilliant in every possible way.

Moments after the historic Commons vote the prime minister put her feet up and placed her hands behind her head, smiling contently.

May said: “Tory and Labour, Leave and Remain, Punks and Skins, the DUP and rational, forward thinking, normal human beings. They all bloody loved it.”

May then suggested she might take a few weeks off from politics as she had so clearly 'nailed it' with her Brexit deal.

A Downing Street source said: “We've been trying to tell her for weeks but she'd just put her headphones on and listen to London Calling at full volume.

“We tried writing it on signs and showing them to her but she just spun round in her chair to face the wall.”

May added: “Yes, a job well done.”