SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon has set out her plans for the entire universe.
Sturgeon pledged to bring ‘core Scottish values’ to undiscovered planets, millions of light years away, as she unveiled the SNP manifesto, This is Who the Fuck We Think We Are.
She said: “We remain focused on achieving independence for the Solar System, but we believe a Scottish-led Solar System can be a force for good throughout the cosmos.
“Let’s imagine a planet that I call ‘Zartax 5’. For too long the working class, blue-skinned creatures of Zartax 5 have been exploited by the lazy, green-skinned bankers of Zartax 4, sipping Ultra-Champagne in their shiny, spherical mansions.
“It’s time to disable the warp drive on the Zartax 4 gravy spaceship.”
The Scottish first minister pledged to create a vast, intergalactic government that would share the natural resources of the bright orange moons, rich in a substance she will name ‘murrellium’.
Sturgeon also dismissed comparisons to Kathryn Janeway, from Star Trek: Voyager, adding: “In Voyager, Janeway was just a captain and, as you can see, I am wearing my Star Trek admiral’s uniform.”