We were actually far more liberal than he is, says Victorian ghost child about Jacob Rees-Mogg

THE ghost of a Victorian child has distanced herself and her era from the cruel policies of Jacob Rees-Mogg. 

Harriet Trembath, who died of neglect in a rat-infested alleyway, says even aristocrats of her day were far kinder than the MP for North East Somerset.

She added: “My end might have been terrible, but at least ladies in crinoline dresses wept about it when it was turned into a series of hand-tinted postcards. Rees-Mogg would have said it was all my own fault.

“We may share our anachronistic dress and unearthly, translucent appearance, but our views on women’s rights, the church and workers’ unions couldn’t be more different.

“In my day, men in top hats and canes investigated our sad plight, founded charities and worked hard on medicines to cure us. Even the worst factories weren’t zero-hours.

“And you know what else? Nobody called their children ‘Sixtus’. He’s made that up.”

Rees-Mogg said: “Hmm, looks like we’ve found another volunteer for my spectral workhouse. Ha ha ha. HA HA HA!”